Exactly 7 years ago today, I went to sleep not knowing what tomorrow would bring. All I knew was I was exhausted and sick. I knew something was wrong, but we were unsure of what it was exactly. Eminem said, "The truth is you don't know what is going to happen tomorrow. Life is a crazy ride, and nothing is guaranteed." When I went to sleep on February 24, 2007, I had no idea that I was next in line for the roller coaster that is life with Type 1 Diabetes. Even today I am still on that ride experiencing the ups and downs, the highs and lows, but now I know that I am not alone. So tonight, as I lay in bed just as I did 7 years ago, instead of falling asleep scared of the unknown, I close my eyes and am eager to see what tomorrow has in store for me.
Monday, November 24, 2014
Friday, November 14, 2014
World Diabetes Day (WDD)
November 14. To some it's just a day, to others it's a day of awareness. Frederick Banting along with his colleague Charles Best, were the ones who first had the idea that led to the discovery of insulin. WDD is celebrated on the 14 of November because this is Banting's birthday. He helped save lives of millions of people. For that, we are eternally grateful.
However, insulin is not a cure.
Today is a day of awareness, for people to share their stories with everyone and educate the world. So here is my lesson to you:
Type 1 Diabetes is when the immune system attacks part of the pancreas. The immune system mistakenly sees the insulin-producing cells in the pancreas as foreign, and destroyed them leaving me with a disease I did not ask for. None of this was caused by eating too much sugar or not exercising. My body simply failed in one department. Due to the immune system attacking these cells, my body does not produce insulin on its own and now I have to do it myself. My insulin pump is like a mini portable IV. I get a slow drip of insulin 24/7, and I have to give different amounts of insulin based on what foods I eat or what my blood sugar is. Since my body does not produce insulin, it will not be alerted and correct a high or low blood sugar like your body does, for me I have to eat sugar if it is low, and give insulin when it is high. So when I say I'm high, I promise it is only my blood sugar. I go through my life, every single day with people judging my disease; telling me I can't eat this, or I should exercise more. I've even had people tell me I need to lose weight cause I am fat and diabetic. Now, I am no expert on Type 2 or what that disease comes with, but I am fairly familiar with the one I will have for the rest of my life.
There are no words to describe the love I have for my fellow T1Ds, they are constantly supporting me, and each other. They are the only people in this world who truly understand what it's like to have someone think you are shooting up heroin at in-n-out as you bolus for your food, or have someone scream in horror as you test your blood sugar because they can't stand the sight of blood. This disease is rough, and we are one strong army of love.
However, insulin is not a cure.
Today is a day of awareness, for people to share their stories with everyone and educate the world. So here is my lesson to you:
Type 1 Diabetes is when the immune system attacks part of the pancreas. The immune system mistakenly sees the insulin-producing cells in the pancreas as foreign, and destroyed them leaving me with a disease I did not ask for. None of this was caused by eating too much sugar or not exercising. My body simply failed in one department. Due to the immune system attacking these cells, my body does not produce insulin on its own and now I have to do it myself. My insulin pump is like a mini portable IV. I get a slow drip of insulin 24/7, and I have to give different amounts of insulin based on what foods I eat or what my blood sugar is. Since my body does not produce insulin, it will not be alerted and correct a high or low blood sugar like your body does, for me I have to eat sugar if it is low, and give insulin when it is high. So when I say I'm high, I promise it is only my blood sugar. I go through my life, every single day with people judging my disease; telling me I can't eat this, or I should exercise more. I've even had people tell me I need to lose weight cause I am fat and diabetic. Now, I am no expert on Type 2 or what that disease comes with, but I am fairly familiar with the one I will have for the rest of my life.
There are no words to describe the love I have for my fellow T1Ds, they are constantly supporting me, and each other. They are the only people in this world who truly understand what it's like to have someone think you are shooting up heroin at in-n-out as you bolus for your food, or have someone scream in horror as you test your blood sugar because they can't stand the sight of blood. This disease is rough, and we are one strong army of love.
Monday, November 10, 2014
You Just Don't Get It
Sorry for my absence, I have been very busy this weekend with homework. Today I am going to talk about something that applies not only to me, but to every diabetic everywhere. As a T1D (Type 1 Diabetic), diet soda is a staple in our diet. Besides water is is one of the only drinks we can have without it being full of sugar and affecting our blood sugars for hours later. Through the last six years of my life, I have had a numerous people in my life tell me that diet coke is worse for me than regular soda. That it is full of aspartame and how it will cause cancer or I will die. Well I prefer the chances of drinking the aspartame than going into a coma. I'm going to share an experience I had a few years ago involving a mix up of diet and regular coke.
A few years ago, I was out shopping with my mom and we went to Johnny Rockets for lunch and ordered vanilla Diet Cokes. We finished our meals and continued shopping for the next hour. As I picked out clothes I knew I felt wrong, like something wasn't right. Pushing it to the side, I focused on the clothes in my hand and headed to the dressing room. The feeling only got worse; I felt trapped, like the walls were closing in on me, and I was over heated to the point where I was sweating and panicking. I felt nauseous and had to get out. I grabbed my tester and it read "HI", which indicated a blood sugar over 600 and I needed insulin immediately. After correcting, 3 water bottles and a damp napkin on my forehead, it still would't read on my meter. It just said "HI". It took hours and countless injections to finally bring my blood sugar down. What caused this, was Johnny Rockets had given me regular coke with my meal, and so I wasn't able to give insulin for it. Diet Coke won't kill me, but regular coke almost did. I will take my chances with Diet Coke any day.
A few years ago, I was out shopping with my mom and we went to Johnny Rockets for lunch and ordered vanilla Diet Cokes. We finished our meals and continued shopping for the next hour. As I picked out clothes I knew I felt wrong, like something wasn't right. Pushing it to the side, I focused on the clothes in my hand and headed to the dressing room. The feeling only got worse; I felt trapped, like the walls were closing in on me, and I was over heated to the point where I was sweating and panicking. I felt nauseous and had to get out. I grabbed my tester and it read "HI", which indicated a blood sugar over 600 and I needed insulin immediately. After correcting, 3 water bottles and a damp napkin on my forehead, it still would't read on my meter. It just said "HI". It took hours and countless injections to finally bring my blood sugar down. What caused this, was Johnny Rockets had given me regular coke with my meal, and so I wasn't able to give insulin for it. Diet Coke won't kill me, but regular coke almost did. I will take my chances with Diet Coke any day.
Thursday, November 6, 2014
I'm Still Here!
Sorry I've been MIA for the last couple of days, I got so busy with school. Today I am going to start off with the day I was diagnosed. It was November 25, 2007 and I remember that night very clearly. I was at home with my Dad watching TV and I felt awful. I was constantly thirsty and losing weight like crazy. By the fifth trip to the restroom of the hour, and my eighth glass of water, my Dad knew what was going on. He had me check my blood sugar and it wouldn't even read on the meter. A good range to be in is between 70-120 and when it won't read on the meter, that means it is over 600. That was the beginning of my whole world changing. I gave myself my very first shot of insulin that night, and I instantly felt better.
Since that day I have pricked my finger over 28,000 times and given over 15,000 shots. For that, there is no bright side. This disease has brought much dismay into my life. I've had people tell me that I need to eat healthier and lose weight, or that "at least it's not cancer", or people even try to relate to it by telling me they know exactly how I feel. But just because I have diabetes doesn't mean I am fat or need to eat less sugar- sugar is what saves my life on sometimes a daily occasion. Yes I am very grateful I don't have cancer, I still have to live with this disease 24/7 and I will never ever get a break for the rest of my life until there is a cure. So I am adding to the 28,000 finger pricks, and that number may double by the time the cure comes. Life isn't always fair, but it is my life and I must keep fighting the battle.
Since that day I have pricked my finger over 28,000 times and given over 15,000 shots. For that, there is no bright side. This disease has brought much dismay into my life. I've had people tell me that I need to eat healthier and lose weight, or that "at least it's not cancer", or people even try to relate to it by telling me they know exactly how I feel. But just because I have diabetes doesn't mean I am fat or need to eat less sugar- sugar is what saves my life on sometimes a daily occasion. Yes I am very grateful I don't have cancer, I still have to live with this disease 24/7 and I will never ever get a break for the rest of my life until there is a cure. So I am adding to the 28,000 finger pricks, and that number may double by the time the cure comes. Life isn't always fair, but it is my life and I must keep fighting the battle.
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| The picture on the LEFT is me just weeks after diagnosis, and the one on the RIGHT is me just this past year |
Sunday, November 2, 2014
My Silver Lining
I know that yesterday my post was about camp, but I feel like camp is such a big deal that it deserves another post.
Every day with Type 1 Diabetes is a battle, and sometimes you just don't want to fight it anymore. There are days where you want to give up, or where you feel completely alone. But thankfully for me I have my amazing camp family who is so supportive. I can call up any one of them and all I have to say is "Diabetes Sucks." and they wouldn't need any details of what was happening, they just know. These people are as necessary as insulin.. I can't live without them.
Recently I have struggled with having diabetes and how much work it is and all that comes with it, but my best friend/ sister from camp moved to Thousand Oaks and is going to Cal Lu. All I had to do was text her and we had plans that night. There are no words that can explain how happy I am with my fellow diabetics. They are truly the only people on this planet who understand everything. I can tell someone that I feel "high" or "low" and they say something like "Oh I totally know what you feel like, I had a cold last weekend." or "I have had the worst headache for the last few days." And I know they are just trying to be helpful and be nice, but it's hard when you deal with something only you can feel.
Okay- enough with the downer talk. I am gonna give a little shout-out to a certain fellow camp goer who has helped me through a lot of stuff these past few years. Especially this past summer, my dear friend Rachel has helped me through some of my hardest times and she has showered me with love and comfort. I don't think she knows how much it meant to me and that I will never forget our summer of making complete fools of ourselves at flour wars, or dancing to backstreet boys in the kitchen. But most of all, I will never forget how you were there for me whenever I needed you. You are an inspiration to every person and camp and we all love you with everything we have. Love you Rach- you are my hero.
As you can see, camp is very special and we are a family. I cannot wait for summer because I will finally be reunited with everyone. Camp is my silver lining in a disease that can bring so much darkness if you don't have an escape like we all do.
Every day with Type 1 Diabetes is a battle, and sometimes you just don't want to fight it anymore. There are days where you want to give up, or where you feel completely alone. But thankfully for me I have my amazing camp family who is so supportive. I can call up any one of them and all I have to say is "Diabetes Sucks." and they wouldn't need any details of what was happening, they just know. These people are as necessary as insulin.. I can't live without them.
Recently I have struggled with having diabetes and how much work it is and all that comes with it, but my best friend/ sister from camp moved to Thousand Oaks and is going to Cal Lu. All I had to do was text her and we had plans that night. There are no words that can explain how happy I am with my fellow diabetics. They are truly the only people on this planet who understand everything. I can tell someone that I feel "high" or "low" and they say something like "Oh I totally know what you feel like, I had a cold last weekend." or "I have had the worst headache for the last few days." And I know they are just trying to be helpful and be nice, but it's hard when you deal with something only you can feel.
Okay- enough with the downer talk. I am gonna give a little shout-out to a certain fellow camp goer who has helped me through a lot of stuff these past few years. Especially this past summer, my dear friend Rachel has helped me through some of my hardest times and she has showered me with love and comfort. I don't think she knows how much it meant to me and that I will never forget our summer of making complete fools of ourselves at flour wars, or dancing to backstreet boys in the kitchen. But most of all, I will never forget how you were there for me whenever I needed you. You are an inspiration to every person and camp and we all love you with everything we have. Love you Rach- you are my hero.
As you can see, camp is very special and we are a family. I cannot wait for summer because I will finally be reunited with everyone. Camp is my silver lining in a disease that can bring so much darkness if you don't have an escape like we all do.
Saturday, November 1, 2014
Diabetes Awareness Month
Today is officially the first day of Diabetes Awareness Month. Ironically I was diagnosed November 25, so I celebrate and help raise awareness for the disease I live with every day. I am going to try and post something every day this month (I'm sorry if I fail). Yesterday was Halloween and with the help of the link I posted awhile back, I woke up for my 1 a.m. check with a blood sugar of 138. Today unfortunately I am sick so my blood sugars are a little but higher, but I'm hoping this will soon pass.
For the first day of diabetes awareness month, I am going to reflect on an event I went to last weekend with my second family. Camp Conrad Chinnock held it's annual gala which raises thousands of dollars for my home away from home.
For the first day of diabetes awareness month, I am going to reflect on an event I went to last weekend with my second family. Camp Conrad Chinnock held it's annual gala which raises thousands of dollars for my home away from home.
This camp is a safe place for hundreds of Type 1 Diabetics every summer and for a weekend in the winter. Words cannot tell you how much love I have for everyone there. I am no longer a camper, but now a staff member. This past weekend I was able to reconnect with my fellow counselors and even some of my campers.
Every year Rocky Wilson, our camp director, tells story about how the flame from one light can fill up an entire room. And when I see how many people come together to help support something so amazing, the room glows. Thank you everyone who has supported either me or camp, I am forever grateful.
"I would look up, and laugh, and love, and lift."
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